Teaching Toddlers to Share and Take Turns: Simple Strategies for Parents [Updated 2025]

Getting toddlers to share or wait their turn can feel like a tall order, especially when every toy seems precious. These moments matter because sharing and turn-taking lay the groundwork for lifelong friendships and cooperation. But it’s common for young children to find these skills tough; they’re just beginning to understand that others have their own feelings and needs.

Toddlers are naturally focused on themselves. Between ages two and four, their brains are still learning patience and impulse control. It’s normal if your child guards their favorite truck or resists giving up a crayon—this is part of growing up. By teaching and modeling these behaviors in daily life, you help your child practice empathy, self-control, and flexibility. Starting early gives them the confidence and social tools they’ll need as they grow.

Understanding the Developmental Milestones of Sharing and Turn-Taking

Every toddler is wired for growth, but sharing and turn-taking come with their own timeline. These milestones shape kids’ first friendships, classroom harmony, and sibling bonds. Knowing what’s realistic for your child’s age will save you frustration and help set everyone up for success.

Why Toddlers Struggle with Sharing

Toddlers don’t hold back. They want what they see, and often right away. This isn’t bad behavior; it’s a normal part of how their brains work.

Egocentrism: Toddlers see the world mainly from their point of view. The idea that someone else has a need or feeling just like they do is still forming.
Impulse Control: Self-control is just getting started. Young kids act on their urges. Waiting their turn or giving up a toy feels almost impossible when their emotions take over.
Ownership Concepts: The word “mine” is a favorite for a reason. By age 2, children start to understand what belongs to them, but sharing it on demand doesn’t make sense to them yet.
Emotional Regulation: Strong feelings are hard to manage. Meltdowns over toys happen because toddlers feel deeply, and their skills to cope are still growing.
Theory of Mind: Understanding that others have their own thoughts or feelings—called theory of mind—emerges slowly. Most toddlers don’t yet grasp that giving a toy means someone else will feel happy.

It helps to remember: most young kids aren’t being difficult on purpose. They really are learning how to balance their own needs with others’.

Photo by Yan Krukau

Typical Timeline: When Do Children Learn to Share?

Kids’ ability to share or take turns develops through stages. These shifts line up with what’s happening in their thinking, their words, and their play.

10–18 Months: Babies may hand you a toy, but often just for attention or approval. Real sharing isn’t on their radar.
18–24 Months: The concept of “mine” is clear, but true sharing is rare. You’ll see more grabbing and toy-guarding.
2–3 Years: Turn-taking becomes possible with lots of help. At this age, kids start to test out waiting for a toy or giving a quick “turn” but expect it right back.
3–4 Years: True sharing skills begin to show. Kids can take turns if adults coach them through it. They start to understand basic fairness and can manage short waits—though they’ll need reminders and encouragement.
4–5 Years: Most children become more flexible. They start sharing without being asked and are able to play group games that involve turn-taking. Conflicts drop off as empathy and language grow.

Here’s a snapshot of what to look for at different ages:

Age Range	What You’ll See
1–2 years	Parallel play, toy hoarding, “mine!”
2–3 years	Basic turn-taking, frequent adult help
3–4 years	Early sharing, understanding simple rules
4–5 years	Cooperative play, sharing with less drama

Most toddlers will need support through all these stages. This is normal. With patience, modeling, and plenty of practice, sharing and turn-taking become second nature.

Practical Strategies for Teaching Sharing and Turn-Taking

Building strong sharing and turn-taking habits in toddlers takes intention, patience, and plenty of practice. Kids thrive when adults coach them with concrete strategies that fit into everyday moments. Here are four of the most effective ways to encourage young children to wait, share, and collaborate without turning it into a daily battle.

Modeling and Demonstration: The Power of Leading by Example

Kids learn best when they see sharing and turn-taking in action, right in front of them. When adults model these skills during routines—like passing food at snack time or swapping crayons while coloring—it sets a social standard.

Share your own items with your child and narrate what you’re doing (“Now it’s your turn with the blue marker. After you, I’ll use it!”).
Show what good waiting looks like. Use gentle body language and say the words out loud: “I’m waiting for my turn. When you’re finished, please let me know.”
Let siblings, cousins, or friends see adults exchanging items or waiting politely. Kids catch on when they see the grown-ups around them acting the way they want them to act.

Modeling takes the mystery out of sharing and makes it something kids want to try themselves. The more they witness turn-taking at home, the more likely they’ll try it with peers.

Photo by Vika Glitter

Structured Turn-Taking Activities: Make Practice Fun

Toddlers benefit from activities that help them see turn-taking as a natural—and enjoyable—part of play. Games with simple, predictable rules create clear boundaries and allow everyone to experience both waiting and having a turn.

Try these activities at home or during playdates:

Rolling a ball back and forth: Classic, easy, and full of chances to say, “Your turn! My turn!”
Building towers together: Stack blocks one at a time, trading off who adds the next brick.
Board games and card games: Simple games like “Candyland” or matching cards teach the rhythm of moving pieces, waiting, and celebrating friends’ successes.
Using timers: When sharing a favorite toy or swing, set a visual timer (like a sand timer or kitchen timer). Say, “When the timer rings, it’s time for your friend to play.”

Short turns work best for younger children with shorter attention spans. Structured games shift the focus from “give it up” to “let’s take turns,” making the process feel less like a loss.

Positive Reinforcement and Praise: Catch Them Doing It Right

Noticing and celebrating the moments your toddler shares or waits patiently is key. Positive feedback tells kids exactly what they’re doing well and encourages them to repeat it.

Use immediate praise: When your child offers a toy or waits quietly, comment right away. “You waited for your turn on the slide—great job!”
Focus on effort as well as success. “I saw you try to share your snack with your friend. That was kind.”
Celebrate both small and big acts. Sticker charts, high-fives, or a quick hug go a long way.

Be specific so your child connects the praise to their action. Consistent encouragement turns positive moments into healthy habits.

Using Visual Aids and Language Cues: Make Taking Turns Concrete

Young children often understand and remember routines better when they see or hear clear cues. Tools like visual timers, hand gestures, or short phrases make the abstract idea of waiting much more manageable.

Here’s how to make use of cues:

Visual timers: Choose one with sand or pictures. Show it as you explain, “When all the sand is at the bottom, it’s your turn.”
Gesture-based cues: Encourage kids to use gestures like “handing over” an object or pointing to the next turn-taker.
Simple language: Stick to phrases like “My turn,” “Your turn,” and “All done.” Repetition cements the meaning for toddlers.
Props for passing: Use a special object, like a ball or a “talking stick,” to show whose turn it is.

These tools help even the youngest toddlers anticipate what’s next, reducing frustration and helping everyone play together more smoothly.

Navigating Common Challenges and Conflicts

Teaching toddlers to share and take turns isn’t just about rules—it’s about handling the real-life moments when tempers flare, “mine!” gets shouted, and parents feel frustrated. Toy battles, clinginess with favorite items, and short tempers are all part of growing up. Conflicts are natural, and every parent will face them. What truly matters is how you respond in these heated moments. A thoughtful approach goes further than forcing a quick fix or making everyone say “sorry.” This section will help you manage those tricky times and show your child kindness, patience, and real problem-solving.

Validating Feelings and Emotional Coaching: Guide on how to support children’s emotions during sharing disputes without forcing compliance

Young kids feel big emotions, and those feelings hit hardest during sharing struggles. When toddlers get possessive or upset during a playdate, your first job isn’t to referee—it’s to acknowledge their experience.

Stay calm. Your steady presence models how to handle big feelings.
Use simple validation. Say what you see: “You really wanted that fire truck. You’re upset because your friend is playing with it.”
Avoid shaming or rushing. Don’t tell a child to “stop crying” or insist “it’s not a big deal.” To your toddler, it is.
Reflect feelings without judgment. A gentle, “It’s hard to wait when you want something,” goes a long way.
Keep expectations realistic. Sharing on command isn’t age-appropriate for most toddlers. Forcing it often leads to more resistance.
Offer comfort, not ultimatums. Sometimes, a hug or sitting together for a moment is all that’s needed.

Supporting their emotions lets your child feel heard. It also helps build self-control, so next time, they might manage frustration better or even offer a turn with less struggle.

Promoting Patience and Problem-Solving Skills: Describe methods for teaching toddlers patience and collaborative conflict resolution

Once feelings are heard, it’s time to build skills. Toddlers need hands-on guidance to learn patience and work out simple conflicts.

Photo by cottonbro studio

Teach patience by making waiting visible:

Use timers. Physical timers (like a sand or kitchen timer) turn waiting into something concrete. “When the sand runs out, it’s your turn with the puzzle.”
Break the wait into steps. “First, you play with blocks. Then, it’s your turn with the car.”
Praise waiting moments. Catch small successes: “You waited for your turn on the swing! That was kind.”

Guide conflict resolution with active coaching:

Describe the struggle: “You both want the same doll.”
Help brainstorm options: “What can we do? Should we take turns, or find another toy while you wait?”
Let kids try solutions: If it feels safe, let them attempt to resolve the issue with your guidance.
Stay neutral: Avoid taking sides or stepping in too quickly. This builds confidence.

Use gentle reminders that taking turns means everyone gets a chance. Some families create “sharing baskets” for high-demand toys or set a special “safe” place for special items kids don’t want to share—this acknowledges their need for ownership, without letting it block social play.

Learning to wait and problem-solve doesn’t happen overnight. Each challenge is a practice round. By staying calm and supportive, you help your child see that conflicts are just problems to solve, not reasons to lose their cool.

Fostering Intrinsic Motivation Through Play and Daily Routines

Kids learn to share and take turns not because someone tells them to, but because they start to feel good about helping others and being part of a group. When these habits are built into play and everyday moments, children begin to repeat them without constant reminders or rewards. This internal satisfaction—called intrinsic motivation—fuels your child’s willingness to share and wait their turn even when you’re not looking.

Embedding these skills into play and daily routines makes sharing part of the fabric of daily life. Children are naturally curious and eager to belong, so making social skills fun and routine helps them feel proud, confident, and connected.

Embedding Social Skills Into Playtime: Offer ideas for pretend play, cooperative games, and storytelling as avenues for practicing sharing

Photo by cottonbro studio

Play is a child’s first classroom for social skills. Sharing and turn-taking fit naturally into pretend play, team games, and stories. Here’s how to work these lessons into your everyday play sessions:

Pretend Play: Set up scenarios where your child and their playmate need to share props or roles. Maybe they’re running a pretend ice cream shop and must trade the scoop or take orders for each other. Acting out family routines or favorite stories builds empathy and patience.
Cooperative Games: Try activities where everyone works together toward a common goal. Building a tower together, doing a puzzle, or playing a game like “Roll the Ball” gives each child a clear “turn.” These games work well because they put the focus on teamwork instead of competition.
Storytelling: Take turns adding to a story, either out loud or by acting it out with toys. “First, the rabbit found a carrot. Then, your turn—what happens next?” Kids learn to listen, wait, and jump in when it’s their turn.
Emotion Charades and Social Stories: Act out feelings with faces or movements and guess what each other is expressing. Use simple stories about sharing, sometimes with toys or puppets, to help toddlers “see” the steps of taking turns.

When sharing or waiting is hard, slow down and talk through what’s happening in the game. Let problems become teachable moments: “It’s hard to wait, but look how happy your friend feels when they get a turn!” Over time, these fun repetitions build skills for life.

Creating an Environment That Encourages Sharing: Discuss arranging toys, inviting peers, and building a supportive culture at home or in childcare

The space where your child plays shapes how often and how easily sharing happens. A few thoughtful tweaks make cooperation and turn-taking much more likely:

Arrange Toys for Easy Access: Keep playthings on low shelves or open bins so kids can see and reach them. Having duplicates of popular toys cuts down on squabbles, but it’s also fine to have some “special” items that are just for sharing practice.
Set Up Shared Spaces: Create cozy corners or play “stations” where more than one child can fit and play together easily, like a reading nook or a block area big enough for teamwork.
Rotate Toys Regularly: Switching out toys every week keeps things fresh and increases interest in group play—especially when new, exciting things are available to everyone.
Invite Peers for Playdates: Social skills need practice. Mixing in children of different ages and personalities helps your child try out taking turns with kids outside the immediate family. Keep playdates short at first, and jump in with gentle coaching when needed.
Model and Narrate Kindness: Use everyday routines—setting the table, baking together, or feeding a pet—as natural moments to model sharing and collaborative tasks. Say things like, “Let’s take turns stirring the cookie batter,” or, “Your friend gets to pour today, then you’ll have a turn.”

Making sharing part of your home or childcare culture—where kindness, cooperation, and respect for others are standard—helps children feel proud of their efforts. Praise acts of sharing, both big and small, and let children see that these skills are noticed and valued.

A welcoming, organized, and friendly space gives kids countless chances to practice sharing, turn-taking, and teamwork daily, setting the stage for confident social skills that last.

Conclusion

Teaching toddlers to share and take turns is a steady, step-by-step journey that relies on daily moments and patient support. Skills like waiting, sharing, and working together don’t appear overnight—they build with practice, clear examples, and understanding.

You don’t need to rush the process or aim for perfection. Every time you model kindness, acknowledge a tough emotion, or celebrate even a tiny act of sharing, you’re moving your child forward. Over time, these small efforts turn into habits that will help your child connect with others and feel good about themselves.

Use simple games, routine tasks, and real-life situations as practice. Focus on support, not forcing. As you guide your child, remember that progress matters more than speed. Thank you for joining in and caring about this important part of childhood. If you have tips or stories of your own, share them below and keep the conversation going.

How to Teach Toddlers to Share and Take Turns: Easy Parent Strategies 2025 Guide